Dear Special Friend,
I am in safe receipt of the latest installment of your delightful letter campaign.
I’d like to thank you for being a regular reader of my blog. It is gratifying to know that the opposition takes the time to read it and that you find it challenging and interesting enough to write to me about.
Your rather direct and personal style is a joy, making it so easy to understand the points you are trying to make. Even the CAPITAL LETTERS you write in are helpful, since I am a little short-sighted in my old age and this assists me in perusing your vivid content.
What I particularly like, when I get a new letter from you, is the fact that you were subject to the cost of a stamp, an envelope, paper, printing and most importantly – time. That will be time that you are not spending spewing your nasty poison on somebody else. Please do continue to send me your letters, better that than somebody who might actually be affected by them.
I am glad that we have now moved on from the threats just to the insults though. You will appreciate that it’s quite difficult to take threats seriously from an anonymous coward who thinks that they can intimidate and bully through the post. At least now I can appreciate your colourful invective for what it is. I fear you have woefully misjudged your ability to intimidate but have no desire to knock your clearly fragile ego. I think you need help, to be honest.
I am concerned for your health. I understand and appreciate that “Haters gonna Hate” as they say. I am sure you have a large reservoir of hate and that it must extend beyond your fixation and stalking of me. All this venom is not good for you and I’d like to offer some helpful advice. If you are a person of Faith, may I recommend prayer as a good way to come to grips with your violent and negative emotions? If you are not a person of faith, then physical exercise, or therapy, or both, might be appropriate outlets.
Very Best Regards,