Bad News For Roman Bank

Bad News For Roman Bank

I’m sorry, but I have some very bad news for the people of Roman Bank.  There’s a crazy person out there who seems to think that nearly a thousand of you – one Fifth of the entire population of the area in fact – should be hung.

This isn’t some weird and tasteless metaphor.  It doesn’t mean “hung” in a funny way, or an oblique way. It’s not wordplay.  This gentleman – who as you can probably guess is a UKIP Candidate – thinks that Nine Hundred and Eighty People who live in Roman Bank are: “guilty by association of treason against our nation.”   So, if you are an unlucky one of those people who stand accused of this crime you probably want to know precisely what he would like the outcome to be.  Luckily, he was quite frank about it:  “Those responsible should be hanged by the neck until dead.”

So who are these Nine Hundred and Eighty people?  They are anybody who voted for the Conservatives, the Liberal Democrats, or the Labour Party.  Of course I’m only counting those who did so at the recent by-election.  Since his hatred for these “traitors” is rather broad, you could probably go back several years and say anybody who voted in the entire period – which would make the number considerably wider.  Particularly if you went back to when Steve Barclay MP was elected.

Politicians from Britain’s three main political parties should be hanged and their voters tried for treason, a Ukip candidate has said.

Labour, Conservative and Liberal Democrat politicians have committed Britain to “slavery inside the EU dictatorship” and should be punished by death, Gordon Ferguson told prospective voters in a letter delivered ahead of Thursday’s council elections.

Anybody who votes for those parties is “guilty by association of treason against our nation”, he added.

However – things may not be quite as grim as they seem.  Although he clearly felt the voters were all complicit traitors – he then seemed to shy away from the idea of hanging all of them.  Maybe he only meant the Politicians?  So the journalist pressed him to clarify.  Asked whether he thought his rivals’ voters should also hang, the softly-spoken Mr Ferguson said: “If that is the law of the land, that should apply.” The decision is for judges, not him he added.

Don’t worry – it’s not the Law Of The Land, so you should all be okay.  In fact, it’s never been the Law Of The Land for Candidates of a political party to call for the hanging of anybody who doesn’t vote for their party.  Well, not in this country anyway.  I’m not even sure Hitler was quite as indiscreet on matters electoral.  Well, not at the start, anyway.